Squirrel Vengeance
by Mystical-Magickal-Wytch
Summary: The Squirrells surprise Much during one of his hunts in the forest and exact their own particular brand of revenge upon him.....


**This is an idea I got after a lot of randomness on the RRA forum... hope you enjoy it :P**

**Disclaimer: I do not own RH. **

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**THE CAMP**

It was a lovely day in Sherwood Forest. The gang were all about their business: Guy acting dark and emo, Friar Tuck praying, Archer selling weapons for a profit somewhere, John sharpening his stick, Allan being a joker... as usual, Kate ogling at Robin and Robin devising a plan to steal more gold and supplies from Sherriff Izzy and Prince John.

"Right" Much began to the group. "I'm off to go and get us some lunch." He announced, picking up his bow and quiver of arrows.

"Wouldn't happen to be _squirrel_ by any chance would it???" Alan teased. Much looked sheepish. Of course it was squirrel but he didn't want them to know that.

"No of course it isn't! As if I'd cook squirrel!" he retorted indignantly before storming off to hunt.

**Somewhere deep in Sherwood Forest...**

**SQUIRREL HQ**

Squirrel chief: CHEEP CHEEP CHEEP CHEEP (translation: This Much has tormented our race long enough. It's time we took some action.

All other squirrels: CHEEEP CHEEEEEEEP!!!!!!! (Enthusiastically agreeing squirrels)

Squirrel Chief: CHEEP CHEEP CHEEP cheep CHEEP CHEEP cheep CHEEEEEP!!!!!" (Translation: We shall set a trap in the forest... then we can exact our revenge upon this unholy squirrel slayer!!!!!)

All other squirrels: Cheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep!!!!! (Evilly agreeing)

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**Somewhere in Sherwood Forest....**

Much strolled along slowly, scouring the area for signs of little furry creatures running around in the undergrowth. Every now and then he heard a rustle around him from different directions but he couldn't see any actual squirrels. It was odd that they were being this elusive, he thought, but it didn't bother him too much and he carried on, oblivious to what he was about to wander into.

He stumbled upon a clearing and in the middle of it was a small, fluffy copper creature with a downy tail and big, shiny brown eyes. It's nose was twitching as it inspected a small acorn between it's tiny little paws. To any other person this would have been cute, but to Much this animal was lunch. He took care not to startle the animal, readying his bow and animal when the animal turned and looked directly at him, a curious expression on it's face. Much stopped for a split second when...

"CHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP" (translation: ATAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!!!!")

He was dive-bombed by thousands of tiny furry copper creatures who chewed his ears and bit his fingers, pulled his hair and scratched his face. His Bow and arrows were hurriedly taken away by eager little critters who put them in their stash in a huge oak tree.

The squirrels cheeped evilly as they attacked much who, at this point had been pulled to the ground by the weight of all the squirrels that were clinging to him. He screamed for help but no one came.

The squirrels pulled at the roots of his hair and tangled it with mud and leaves. His clothes were all ragged and torn by their chomping teeth and sharp claws and he had lost his weapon.

"CHEEP CHEEP CHEEP!!!!!" one cried, holding up an acorn he had found a small stash of acorns Much used for bait when things weren't going his way... Several squirrels dived into the pocket and some up his trouser leg to get at the nuts at all costs. It was a very embarrassing experience for Much... being attacked and mugged by Squirrels.

**SQUIRREL HQ – after the attack**

Chief squirrel: Cheep Cheep Cheep-cheep ... cheep cheep cheep (Translation: well done my minions... our plan worked well.

All Squirrels: CHEEEP cheep cheep Cheep cheep (Translation: Thank you, oh Chief Squirrel)

Chief squirrel: Cheep cheep CHEEP cheep cheep-cheep cheep (Translation: Never again will that murderer dare to attack us)

All Squirrels: CHEEEP CHEEP CHEEP (Translation: DEATH TO THE MURDERER!!!!)

Chief Squirrel: CHEEP! Cheep, cheep-cheep cheep cheep cheep-cheep-cheep. (Translation: Silence! Now we must organise the nuts!)

**BACK AT CAMP**

"Blimey! What happened to you???" Alan laughed as the gang took in the sight of Much once he had returned. Much was in shock and said nothing. He sat down on his bed and stared blankly ahead.

"Much! What happened?" John asked, urgently, thinking maybe the sheriff's men had gotten hold of their dear friend.

"Was it Isabella?" Guy asked darkly.

"Was it Prince John's men?" Robin asked.

"Did the squirrels fight back or something?" Allan joked, getting shushed by the others in the group. Much nodded although no one saw.

"Well?" Kate demanded, slightly impatiently.

"Sq-sq-sq-squirrels!!!" Much spluttered.

"What?" Tuck exclaimed.

"SQUIRRELS!!!" Much cried in alarm.

"Listen, mate, I was only joking!" Allan began and then fell silent. "You mean you actually got attacked by squirrels????"

Much nodded.

There was a stunned silence before Allan and Guy burst out laughing, shortly followed by the rest of the gang. Even Robin couldn't help but smile at what had happened to his best friend.

"Poor Much" Kate pitied.

"I guess that's squirrel off the menu for a while then" Allan couldn't help but add.

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**Okay, that was it... hope you enjoyed it... it wasn't overly parody-ish but what the hell**

**R&R please!!!**


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